Desperation Gulch is the third course in Mario Can't Remember. This course can only be accessed from the day period of the overworld, which requires either collecting the sixth Star in Downtown Daydream, or having ten Stars to use The Time Machine.
Guide[]
Act 1: Bank Heist[]
Between the rich parasite Toad and Mayor McToad, wall-kick up to the balcony above. Jump onto the dark brown roof at the end of town and jump up onto the flat roof next to it. Then climb across the roofs until you reach the bank's roof. Break some boxes- if you pick up the smallest box on the left and throw it at the pile of item boxes, you can smash them all in one go.
Act 2: Well Well Well[]
Leave the town via the right end and head for the small hill in the distance. Parkour up to the top level and use one of the black Bob-ombs to blow up the nearby boxes covering the well. Ground pounding will not work here as it will just instantly teleport Mario straight down into the quicksand. After you've safely broken the boxes, jump down the well and try and grab the Star at the centre of the ground before touching the quicksand.
Act 3: Raiding The Secret Stash[]
Follow the same path up to the balcony as in the 1st act (Bank Heist) and press the purple switch to open a gate. Exit the town via the left side and follow the mountain around to a downwards slope with lots of quicksand. Carefully navigate your way down by sticking only to the patches of light-coloured sand until you reach the bottom. Here is the cave where one of the locals has stashed a Star in a box, and it's Mario's for the taking.
Act 4: Pinnacle Of Desperation[]
Exit the town via the right side and follow the mountain around until you reach its backside after ascending a slope. Parkour your way up the mountain:
After wall-kicking up the wider-apart walls, follow the coin arrow to the left. Watch out for Lakitu's while platforming across some narrow platforms, then perform a triple jump to reach the 2 walls for Mario to wall-kick his way up. Enter the side of the mountain and wall-kick your way up the long chute- be wary when exiting the top of the chute as 2 sides of the ground are quicksand. Leap from platform to platform to avoid the quicksand until you reach the box switch at the other side. Use these boxes to cross the chasm and begin ascending to the highest point in the course, where the Star is waiting.
Act 5: Double Homicide[]
Talk to the mayor.
Visit the graveyard by the church. Rid the place of Boob-ombs. Return to the scene of the crime (the well) and defeat the Big Boob-omb there too. This one will not stray from above the well (unless it clips through the wall by Mario's doing) so do not try and ground pound it.
Act 6: Mario's Last Stand[]
Talk to the mayor.
To face his fate, Mario must climb the same path up the mountain as in Act 4 (Pinnacle of Desperation), but this time when he reaches the coin arrow after a wall-kicking segment, it will be pointing to a different route. Follow the coin arrow and jump down to the cave entrance and enter the hole.
Face off against the Sheriff in the MCW arena. The floor of the ring is all quicksand, meaning that Mario can only jump on the Sheriff from the barriers. To avoid dying after stomping on the Sheriff, keep him close to the barriers- then move back towards the barrier after stomping on him and grab the edge to save yourself. Alternatively, you can jump onto him with enough momentum that it carries you across to the other side of the ring, but that mostly works for the first hit when the Sheriff is still hovering around the centre.
100 Coin Star[]
Act 5 likely has a different number of coins; have not yet determined the total coin counts for the Acts.
- At the top of the mountain, there are 2 boxes containing 10 coins each, 2 coin circles with 8 coins each, a Chuckya and 3 Lakitu's.
- There are also a fair few Lakitu's at the back of the base of the mountain and on the ascending path used in Act 4 (Pinnacle Of Desperation), as well as another Chuckya and many coin formations.
Dialogue[]
| NPC | Location | Dialogue |
|---|---|---|
| Level Entry | N/A | why wont you wake up? |
| Pink Bob-omb Buddy | Outside the bank, acts 1, 2, 3, 4 | Oh-ho-ho, Mario my man! Today, like every day, is a fabulous day to be rich! I'm so rich they ran out of room for my money in the bank vault! I'm so rich I own every property in Wider Desperation! I'm gonna run a railway right through this dead-end town. Then with the money I make from that, I'll buy the moon - and build timeshare apartments on it! MWA-HA-HA-HA-HA! |
| Mayor McToad | Left of the bank, acts 1, 2, 3, 4 | Greetings Mario! Welcome to the humble town of Desperation. I'm Mayor McToad. And might I say, what a fetching green outfit you're wearing! ...what? I'm Irish. I expect you'll be wanting me to show you our many attractions! Well... uh... there's the butte. Big huge butte. Sorry, I don't talk to visitors much. Most people who come here are running away from something. |
| Pink Bob-omb Buddy | Outside Desperation Saloon, acts 1, 2, 3, 4 | Looishiii, my friend! Did I ever tell you that Muse sshtole my act? Oh yeah, it'sh true! Y'shee, I wassh in a leeeetle band called "The Babylonian Space Cowboyssh!" And then Mushe, those FUCKSH came along with a leetle sshong called "Knyghtsh of Cydonia"... Those basshtards shtole our whole act! After that video came out every time we played people sshaid we were ripping THEM off! But you wanna hear a leetle sshecret? Get real close now, I ain't shaying thish loud enough for the whole town to hear. I got back at em. I shtole their whole take for the night they played at the Velvet Goomba. *laughsh* They haven't been back shince! I couldn't put it in the bank, OBVIOUSHLY, so I had it in a cave. Ahh, sshmart huh? |
| Pink Bob-omb Buddy | Right end of the town, acts 1, 2, 3, 4 | Oh hi Mario. I was just looking for rainclouds. It hasn't rained here in a very long time. I hope the well hasn't dried up. I sent my kids out to fetch water, but they've been gone for a while. Could you go check on them for me? They're good kids. They don't talk much, but being a little slow doesn't hurt. To be honest I'm not sure I'm really their Dad, but I still love them. If anything ever happened to them I'd just explode! |
| Pink Bob-omb Buddy | Outside the church, acts 1, 2, 3, 4 | Hello my child. Beautiful day, is it not? |
| Mayor McToad | Under the town sign, acts 5, 6 | YOU! *spits* The whole town knows what you've done. Robbing the bank? Stealing the drunks star? KILLING THOSE KIDS?! Shame on you! The Sheriff is going to deal with you. Not here, though. He's not going to fight you in the street like some kind of animal. That would be uncivilised. There's a proper place for these things. He's waiting for you in the cave above town. If I were you I'd pay the church a visit first. |
| Sign post | Well, acts 5, 6 | Memorial to those who lost their lives at this spot: Explodey Brodie Explosive Joseph Explo Shawn REST IN PEACE |
| Pink Bob-omb Buddy | Church, acts 5, 6 | REPENT, SINNER |
| Boob-ombs | Graveyard, acts 5, 6 | murderer |
| Final Boob-omb | Graveyard, acts 5, 6 | I remember now... I am not from this world. I was a detective in a place called Chicago. I remember getting shot. The pain was unbearable, then suddenly I was here. Thank you Mario. Maybe now my spirit can finally be at rest. You still have more to do I see. I suggest you return to the crime scene. |
| Area Entry | Acts 5, 6, inside the stadium | ...and introducing his opponent, The Man With No Memory! The Master of the Top Rope! The Luigi Lookalike Luchadorrrrrr! Ladies and gentlemen it'sa him: MARIOOOOOOO!!! |
| The Sheriff | Stadium, 1 hit | Oh so you hit me one time, big deal. You think I'm scared of you? You don't even remember walking into the stadium! |
| The Sheriff | Stadium, 2 hits | Look at this guy! He's pathetic! He doesn't have the faintest clue that he's actually in a coma right now. Pathetic, am i right? I was just playing with you before. Tremble with fear little man, for your about to witness my ultimate attack: THE CATERPILLAR CRUSHER! |
| The Sheriff | Stadium, 3 hits/defeat | What?! But no one has ever survived the Caterpillar Crusher! This is impossible!!! Whatever. You're never going to wake up from this coma. Enjoy your star you clueless idiot. |